Confusion and People Who Are Smarter Than Me

Let's be clear - Texas is still scary to me. The big hair, the weird state pride, the starched denim, the belt buckles, and most especially the blind conservatism...they still scare me. However, there are things I have come to like around here. I've made friends, I've been to the rodeo, and dare I say, this has become home. Its confusing, because while I still find this place bizarre and make fun of it almost by the minute, I'm starting to like living here.

It has taken someone smarter and funnier than me to coin a phrase that describes me to a "T". Tessie over at Messing With Texas called herself a "reluctant Texan." Brilliant!

So, now if the chic who wrote the book that led me to the name of this blog threatens to sue me for stealing her title, I'll have a back-up name, The Reluctant Texan. Wish I had thought of it sooner!

Another Installment From Hooters

Really, we actually do eat at other (better) restaurants than Hooters. I suppose I never mention it because it is never as interesting as what happens at "the owl restaurant." (as Grant calls it)

So, Tuesday night we grabbed some oh-so-good-for-you wings after picking Jamie up from tennis. And, yes, one of my children was still in their Catholic school uniform. The waitress was friendly and not as dumb as some I have encountered at this establishment. When she was taking our order, however, she started to act a little strange. She was distracted and looking around oddly. Finally, she started laughing and looking down at her leg. Then she looks at us and says, "um, he is rubbing my leg!" Grant was sitting at the end of the table and was fascinated by those fake-tan, crazy panty-hose they wear. So, there you have it - proof of my classiness and mothering - my 4-year-old was feeling up the Hooter's girl.

I'm so proud.

Time to return to my normal life

Well, I survived. The festival is over and I'm still standing. Of course, the festival was on Saturday and Connor's biography book report, complete with paper bag puppet, was due Monday. So, we went from festival crazy into book report and puppet making....it never seems to end. I think that is because I jinxed myself earlier this year when I mentioned to someone that this year was much easier than I expected it to be. Jamie's 3-D book report project is due the next Monday. Then we are full into History Fair and Science Fair. For the love of Pete, WHY do we have to do the History and Science fairs????

At any rate, the Festival was a success. All the kids and families had a blast. We made money. There were only several minor crises to deal with.

And, since this blog is called A Yankee's Guide to Texas...let me just inform you about Texas men. (apologies to the few who are evolved enough to consider a person without an extra appendage intelligent) I have never encountered chauvinism anywhere I have lived like I did this past weekend at the festival. I actually had to pull my "navy wife" card out and say, "hey you bunch of num-nuts! I am more self sufficient than the lot of you are. Oh, and did I mention I have a brain? A rather smart one if I say so myself. And, if I ask you a freaking question, it is probably because I need and answer, not because I am trying to annoy you with idle chit-chat!" And, if I tell you that the generator you plan to connect to my 65 ft obstacle course will not supply sufficient power, maybe you should listen to me. Cuz you know what? When you ignore me and blow me off as some silly girl who knows nothing of amps and volts we all end up looking like idiots when the party rental company can't blow up the thing at 720am! Did you notice that I was right there next to you throwing hay bails and hammering nails? Seriously, I think some of these idiots still carry around smelling salts and hankies for dainty and fragile members of the fairer sex. Next year, I will know better how to deal with the Dad's mafia. Regular southern methods do not work here, I'll have to devise new methods to conquer the Texas men.

The kids had fun trick-or-treating. Grant was Thomas - again. Connor was a fighter pilot. Jamie was my candy passer outer. I am a wretched horrible mother and did not take a single picture. I'm tellin' ya, it is all I could do just to get homework done, dinner fed, and costumes on - no time for cameras. But, now, I must go to dig through all the candy to find any and all Milky Way Midnights !

Happy Halloween to you and yours. And, if you are not lame like me then I look forward to seeing pictures of all your ghosts and goblins.

Note To Self...

If you are going to have tickets printed for the school Fall Festival Raffle, you should check first to see that the item you are raffling off can actually be purchased. Otherwise, you might make an ass out of yourself crying in the 11th store you have been to in 3 hours that does not have that elusive item.

Then, you must buy a very large gift for a person (with a 4 day old baby) who starts stalking stores by phone and saves your sorry self from complete humiliation by directing you to a store to meet a delivery truck delivering three of the holy grail of electronic games!

Have I mentioned that I hate Festivals - well, at least ones I have to plan.

Anyone want a raffle ticket? Cuz you sure as hell won't easily be purchasing one of these babies on your own before Christmas unless you'd like to pay well over retail to one of the scavengers on e-bay.

Baby Gifts

If you are expecting a baby girl, or have just delivered a baby girl, you can expect to get this gift from me. It made me laugh out loud in the middle of Babies R Us. I hope you get a giggle too.

Someone should have made sure that Jennifer Grey had one of these for her babies.

It's FALL!!!!

Okay, the weather is more like the dog days of summer, but you know it is fall when.....

HONEYCRISPS ARRIVE!

Seriously people, you do not know how good an apple can be unless you enjoy them now while they are in season. There is not a better apple to be had. I haven't stopped smiling since I bought my first round Saturday. Im heading back to Central Market to get more today.

I also suggest thinly slicing them onto a sandwich with a little cream cheese and Cinnamon peanut butter. Even better if you toast some dense cinnamom raisin bread to make your sandwich on! Yum!!

Oh, and I also highly endorse ALL of Penaut Butter Company's offerings. I love that they are all natural and tasty! The White Chocolate and Dark Chocolate are especially popular 'round here!

Happy Eating!

Am I a celebrity? I've been interviewed!

Its Monday, and I am procrastinating. I volunteered to play along with an interview meme with my friend, el-e-e...

Here are the rules as posted by Miss el-e-e: Leave me a comment (you, yes you) saying “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you or leaving a comment with five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don’t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. Here are my questions and answers:


Do you remember your wedding cake? What flavor/color/decorations was it and were you pleased with the results?

Do I remember a detail of an event (my wedding) that involves food??? Of course!! My wedding cake was three tiers. Each tier was a different flavor. The bottom, biggest layer was amaretto cream cheese cake with apricot filling and almond butter cream frosting. This one was my favorite! The middle layer was dark chocolate cake with raspberry mousse filling and the same almond butter cream. The top layer was the same cream cheese amaretto cake as the bottom layer with strawberry mousse and the same butter cream. Our anniversary layer, which was not on the cake, was chocolate Kahlua cake with cappuccino butter cream filling and frosting. The frosting "design" on each layer was the same. The top surface of the cakes were frosted in a basket weave pattern with pearl dragees at each intersection. This was to duplicate the bodice of my dress. the sides of my cake had a draped ribbon and bows (inspired by the sleeves of my dress). The top of my cake was covered with ivory roses and then a vine of leaves and ivory rosebuds trailed down the cake. I thought my cake was beautiful, and it was scrumptious. It was so tasty that I was rather ticked off when there was none leftover when I returned from my three day honeymoon. My anniversary layer was eaten after only four months instead of one year because when it started to thaw for the second time in two months during the second hurricane induced power outage in two months, we decided it would not survive much longer. So, we had our friends from upstairs come down for a little cake by candlelight. Who says you can't have fun without electricity?

If you had the time and money to take ONE enrichment class this fall, what would it be? Basket weaving? Tennis? Elizabethan literature? something else?

hmmm, this is a tough one. There are so many things that interest me. There are lots of different cooking classes I would like to take. I think that ultimately, though, I would choose tennis. I am becoming a tennis widow around here. It would be really fun if I could catch on and then tennis would really be a great way to spend some quality family time. And, I love wearing tennis skirts!

Tell us about one funny memory you have from your college years.

Well, I am going to really show my nerdy colors with this one! At my university, as a chem major, you were given a key to the chem building your junior year and also a desk. There was also a cot in one of the rooms that held several of our desks. (this is a sign, by the way, that you have picked the wrong major!) Obviously, we all spent way too much time in that building and often did not have much time for fun. We made our own fun when we all needed a break. The dry ice maker make the dry ice in these neat little disc shapes that were like oversized hockey pucks. So, we all had some cheap hockey sticks. After all the normal people with lives had gone home and the janitorial staff was done with the floors, we would make some dry-ice "pucks." Then we would play hockey with them down the long, freshly waxed hallways. It was really fun because since the dry ice was sublimating, it would almost hover like a puck on an air-hockey table. I recently had some dry ice in the house and introduced this fun game to the boys. They were cracking up!

Who is your favorite character on Grey's Anatomy and why? Least favorite?

Favorite = Alex. His character is interesting and is more than meets the eye. He also doesn't whine constantly. However, lets face it, the real reason he is my favorite probably boils down to lust. The boy is, well, hot doesn't do him justice. He is absolutely delicious! And, did you know that in real life he is a devoted husband with five kids??? Oh, I love, love, love him!

Least Favorite = Christina. For a smart girl, she can be so DUMB!

What's one meal that you will make this week/weekend? I want to know everything, down to the drinks and condiments.

You aren't going to believe this, but I actually only made one real meal this weekend. We were too busy having fun. Sunday night finally required me to actually feed my children a real meal. It was not gourmet let me tell ya'! I made what we call 'round here, "Aunt Lara's Pink Pasta." It is Barilla Plus penne (because it is so much better for you than regular and it tastes GREAT!) with Knorr parma-rosa sauce from a mix. Then, I usually add in peas, but I didn't have any. So we just topped each serving off with some crushed black pepper and some really good Parmesan reggiano. I was far too lazy to steam any veggies, so I made each of us a cute fruit bowl with sliced bananas, sliced strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries. The boys drank grape juice and I had ice water followed by a diet coke. For dessert, we had Cappuccino Brownies leftover from our Saturday tailgating.