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This is not the method I would prescribe if you want to sell your house quickly. Despite the popularity of the contrary saying, honesty is NOT ALWAYS the best policy.

What I Have Been Up To...

I have been baking 2 -3 dozen oatmeal chocolate chips cookies per day. I have been running to Target to buy more Tahitian Vanilla votives and cucumber mint tealights. I have been reprinting fliers and disclosures. I have been answering the phone, fielding the questions, and scheduling the showings. I let them in. I left them to look and snoop while I drove around to my special hidden spot where I could see how long they were there, but I knew they could not see me. Basically, I have been running a 12 hour per day, 7 day a week open house. I have been keeping my house looking like this every minute of every day...Do you know how hard that is while still trying to live a life with three children and an absent husband????











BUUUT it all paid off. We received three offers this weekend, and one of them came with the the most perfect closing/leaseback timeline we could have only dreamed of. And they accepted our counter offer without a second thought. We are beside ourselves with excitement and total disbelief! Now, I need to go start researching new refrigerators because the new owners are getting our current one. Any suggestions???

The builder got our last permit on Friday. We are ready to go! Will schedule a pre-build meeting with builder this week. So, in my best Sarah Palin imitation, "BUILD, BABY, BUILD!"

However, underneath all of this happiness and excitement, we are well aware that we will cry like babies when it is actually time to leave.

In Which Grant Tells You Why MaryB Has Had No Time to Post

That there dirt is now OUR dirt....the very beginning of a long, long road.

What Do You Do When You Haven't Blogged in Weeks? You Ask For Opinions!

Most of you are well aware that I haven't been posting because I am completely overwhelmed by my life right now. Crazytown gets crazier and crazier. We are still house hunting and mulling over moving. I think we are pretty sure that we are going to forge ahead. I think we are pretty surprised to discover WHERE we most enjoyed being while house shopping (Oh my! will there ever be a lot of crow to be be eaten by yours truly! Roasted, fried, grilled, broiled, all of it. SO. MUCH. CROW.)

So, we, at the moment, have two houses in mind. One is the clear front runner, but there will have to be much negotiating of the price and terms. The dilemna you get to guide me about comes into play with house the second choice....

Remember these peeps?









Obviously, we are good friends, yes? They are fabulous. Their kids? Adorable and fabulous.

Well, they just bought a new house. Guess where it is? One over from our house choice #2. Is that weird? On the one hand it sounds like a blast! John Daly's in the driveway and by the pool and fire pit when-the-heck-ever. Kids can play when ever. Pilot/reservist hubs gone? Built in company for the gals/moms! Sounds awesome! They think it would be awesome too. (or so they tell us!)

So, why does it feel so weird to me? Like we are crazy, stalker friends? Maybe they wont like us so much when they live one house over...that would make me sad.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? I NEED TO KNOW!

Also, I'm hoping all the worry will be for naught and that seller's of house choice the first** will be desperate to sell and meet our offer (if we ever get the nerve to actually MAKE the offer!)

**It should be noted for the discussion's sake that the first choice house is also technically in "the neighborhood." When I say "neighborhood" I mean a HUGEASS community that is now technically its own city and,in fact, has its own zip code. The first choice house is in a separate section/neighborhood of the masterplanned community. Probably in the section the furthest away from them actually. It should also be noted that often when we discuss pros/cons of each of the houses we always know which one is the first choice, but always end the conversation with, "BUT it's not one door down from G&K."

A Quick Bullet Point Tour of Crazytown

* Leaving my beloved new kitchen to move to the burbs. Is that sudden or what ?@$&#!?
* Subsequent freaking out about staging of this house and OBSESSING about neighborhoods, schools, houses and prices in the new place...
* Science Fair
* Cleaning out closets, garage, and EVERYTHING and staging it all and painting and finishing all remodeling projects to get ready to put house on market
* Rich left for his detachment
* But not before some idiot stole his bag with credit cards, passports, his freakin' FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT BADGE! etc, etc, etc You cannot imagine the disaster that was his last night home
* Thankfully, said idiots appeared to have ditched the bag on side of the road, minus credit cards and RayBans, when they discovered aforementioned badge.
* Speeding ticket issued to me on way home from dropping Rich at airport for 3 week det when I TOTALLY WAS NOT SPEEDING - WTF WTF WTF?
* The fact that I , very nicely, respectfully, and politely, pointed this fact out to Officer NumNuts pissed him off so that he also gave me a citation for be "uninsured" because my proof of insurance card expired last week...He totally refused to look me up in the system or to let me call USAA and let them tell him.
* Rich texted from plane/airport asking me to bid for him and I totally do not know how to do that. THANK the good Lord for friends who I can call and then just start to cry and then their wonderful, wonderful husbands take care of it for me. Dear G and K - i love you!

My Halloween Gift to You: Pumpkin Fudge

Oh Geez!!! I forgot to publish a recipe on Tuesday!! Hey, I was still recovering from Monday. Cut a girl some slack, will ya?

Well, today is Halloween and I present you with the infamous Pumpkin Fudge recipe. I will tell you this...I HATE nuts in my fudge and cookies. BUT BUT BUT, in this recipe the more toasted pecans the better. But, make sure that they are toasted. Not toasted = sucky. I love this because it is unique and people always ask for the recipe. It is VERY sweet, which is why I think I like the pecans in it - to cut the sweetness. (Sometimes I even very lightly salt the pecans after toasting while they are still hot)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'ALL!!! I've got to get to the gumbo and voo-doo brew making! I'll be expecting pictures of all of your festivities!

Overheard From The Back Of The Van

You guys are going to think I made this up. This was an actual, practically verbatim conversation from the back of my van this afternoon during carpool. If you do do not believe me, you can call or email Jamie or Connor. They were there too, they can vouch for my truthfulness! Grant is five and Livvy is four. All capitalization was actual emphatic voice raising and inflection...


Olivia: Are we getting married?

Grant: Yeah, still. But when we're married it is YOUR job to change ALL da diapers.

Olivia: Not when I go to Book Club. When I go to Book Club you have to change the diapers. Even the poopy ones.

Grant: I'll go to Book Club.

Olivia: Daddies don't go to Book Club. They stay home to change the diapers and put all the kids in the bed.

Grant: We'll have to take the babies on our date.

Olivia: NNNOOOO THAT is a family date!! When WE go on a date the Grammy or the Auntie or the babysitter will change the diapers.

Grant: We have to take the baby on the dates!

Olivia: THAT IS NNNOOOTT A DATE!!! Dates are when the babies STAY HOME! When we get married you will know that.

Times like these, I am so glad I got the van without the rear entertainment system. This is SO much better!

Bye-Bye Birdie -OR- Why Don't I Know and Live Close to MoMommy? -OR- My Damn Bleeding Heart Husband -OR- I Don't Even like Dogs!

What a weekend! Saturday morning found mom and dad sleeping in. It was heavenly. Not long after getting out of bed, Grant came running in the front door to inform us that, " Daddy, Daddy! There are baby birds on the sidewalk Really, really, BABY birds." And we were all, "grumble, mmhmm,, grumble, coffee, creamer, uh-huh." Then, Jamie came in to back up Grant informing us that Grant was not exaggerating, there were, in fact, two brand-new birds on the sidewalk and that only one was alive. The kids were not giving this up so Rich went out to investigate. Grant followed closely behind him. Next thing I know, Rich was back inside calling down the hallway that, "we have a problem." The problem became apparent when I came out of my room to find Rich in the hallway with a tiny, tiny, baby bird in his hand. I said something along the lines of, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" He said, "I know, I know, but Grant was there kneeling next to me and when the bird opened its beak, Grant looked up and said, 'he's huu-ngree, Daddy' " he continued that, "Furthermore, it was OUR cat who ingested the bird's mother and brother." And THAT is how I ended up making a baby bird incubator out of a heating pad, tupperware, and paper towels, and making baby bird Karo water and baby bird food out of soggy cat food. (You all see the irony in THAT one, right?)



As it turns out, you have to feed a baby bird like EVERY TEN MINUTES for at least 12 hours a day! And, also, they poop. A LOT. I was none too happy about all of this and assumed that the bird would give up the fight in a short while. Nope. Bird is still alive. I told Rich that apparently the bird was viable and that I was in NO WAY going to raise a bird for 3-6 weeks until it could fly (we figured out by looking on line that the bird was between 5 and 7 days post hatch.) all the while feeding it every 30 minutes....Not to mention IT IS JUST GROSS and should not be in my house. He checked around and Animal Control said they knew of some private rehabilitators that could care for it. Animal Control came and picked it up just a few minutes ago. What do you think the chances are that they are totally blowing sunshine up our rear ends and that there are no rehabilitators and that they just killed it??? Because now I'm like all sad and shit. Damn baby bird, I didn't even like you. You were UGLY and weird looking, but now I'm sad they might kill you.



Good Luck Baby Bird. You were kind of cute in your own hideously ugly way.

Go Sell Crazy Someplace Else - We're All Stocked Up Here!

It has been my experience that making friends can be much like looking for a job. The problem with this is that sometimes, no matter how qualified an applicant you may be, there are no positions open.

I have decided that this is my problem here. Fort Worth is much like my hometown. It is a city whose residents are fiercely loyal to it. They grow up here, go away to college and then return as soon as is prudent with regards to their careers. This is especially true in the older Fort Worth neighborhoods. I would say that somewhere between 50 and 85 percent (closer to the upper figure!) of my neighbors grew up in this neighborhood or in a nearby Fort Worth neighborhood. They have an abundance of friends and family. I suppose this is one of the downsides to my insistence upon living in town v. the 'burbs.

There are many people I see on an almost daily basis. They are really nice to me. We laugh, we chat. It is good. I think this kinda' makes us "friends" more than just "acquaintances." However, this has not, as of yet, in 3 years, developed into an invitation to lunch or to anything else. I think that they like me, they really do, but all the positions in their circle of friends are filled. They are not looking for applications, no matter how great my resume may be.

You guys have any suggestions? This is new territory for me. In military land, everyone was in the same boat. We all had friends scattered all over the globe and we all needed some girlfriends in our present location. I think we were always accepting applications and handing out resumes. I am unsure as to how to navigate the friend market here. Is there a temp agency I should contact? Like a Manpower for friends or something?

I Forgot to Deliver on that Happy Post - AND Juicy, LIMITED TIME ONLY additional Info!

I promised something happy on Saturday after my bitchiness on Friday. The only thing that really sticks out in my mind is that Grant invented something bizarre that was very cute. He spread a big blanket on the floor and lined up an assortment of toys down the middle. Then he came and said, "Mommy, you are invited to my Toy Party. would you like to play with me?" Sounds insignificant and weird, but it was adorable. Kids think up the goofiest stuff! It was like a Toy Picnic since you were not supposed to take the toys off the blanket. AND, he put every single toy away when we were done.

Today's happy news - Rich called from Hawaii today. He is back on US soil where his cell can call me AND, even better, I am going to pick him up TO. MOR. ROW! Yay! I swear this 3 week thing seemed longer than his long cruises. for the life of me, I can NOT figure out why!

----OOPS! ---You are too late----Juicy info deleted---don't want snoopy neighbors to accidentally stumble upon such on the blog! You can probably figure most if it out from the comment section.