What Do You Do When You Haven't Blogged in Weeks? You Ask For Opinions!

Most of you are well aware that I haven't been posting because I am completely overwhelmed by my life right now. Crazytown gets crazier and crazier. We are still house hunting and mulling over moving. I think we are pretty sure that we are going to forge ahead. I think we are pretty surprised to discover WHERE we most enjoyed being while house shopping (Oh my! will there ever be a lot of crow to be be eaten by yours truly! Roasted, fried, grilled, broiled, all of it. SO. MUCH. CROW.)

So, we, at the moment, have two houses in mind. One is the clear front runner, but there will have to be much negotiating of the price and terms. The dilemna you get to guide me about comes into play with house the second choice....

Remember these peeps?









Obviously, we are good friends, yes? They are fabulous. Their kids? Adorable and fabulous.

Well, they just bought a new house. Guess where it is? One over from our house choice #2. Is that weird? On the one hand it sounds like a blast! John Daly's in the driveway and by the pool and fire pit when-the-heck-ever. Kids can play when ever. Pilot/reservist hubs gone? Built in company for the gals/moms! Sounds awesome! They think it would be awesome too. (or so they tell us!)

So, why does it feel so weird to me? Like we are crazy, stalker friends? Maybe they wont like us so much when they live one house over...that would make me sad.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? I NEED TO KNOW!

Also, I'm hoping all the worry will be for naught and that seller's of house choice the first** will be desperate to sell and meet our offer (if we ever get the nerve to actually MAKE the offer!)

**It should be noted for the discussion's sake that the first choice house is also technically in "the neighborhood." When I say "neighborhood" I mean a HUGEASS community that is now technically its own city and,in fact, has its own zip code. The first choice house is in a separate section/neighborhood of the masterplanned community. Probably in the section the furthest away from them actually. It should also be noted that often when we discuss pros/cons of each of the houses we always know which one is the first choice, but always end the conversation with, "BUT it's not one door down from G&K."

The Best Room Party Ever

...is the one that includes a "foot soak" for the ladies!

Okay, since you asked.... **Edited to add 2 most embarrassing moments of the evening

I was not going to bore you with stories from "apple land," but some of you ASKED about it. AND some of you might need to plan your own events one day. So, here's the scoop. Everything was red and white gingham. The centerpieces were overflowing baskets of apples tied with gingham ribbon. The kids decorated their own paper apples that will later be transferred to a big bulletin board in the front hall of the school along with pictures from the dance. (the pictures do not look as cute as it did irl. AND I look awful because I was 1. EXHAUSTED and 2. had non-contagious allergen/viral pink eye!)

As you entered the building...we blocked off the first entrance to the gym with a "picture spot" made with apple trees made by sparkly, beaded apple sin ficus topiaries, potted flowers, apple garland, etc. there were also five apples to put your face in...so cute.


As you proceeded down the hallway to the entrance there were more than a hundred apples lining the walls. We sent home paper apples to the parents and had them secretly send them back to school. Then, the kids "found" their apples at the dance to see all the beautiful things their parents said about them. This one about the "fanny dance" was one of my favorites.




Then, inside the "foyer" we had snacks and crafts. The snacks were apple "nachos." the "chips" were apple slices and the "cheese" was caramel sauce (all served in a nacho tray of course). We had also planned to have little cups of green jelly beans to be the "jalapenos," but those didn't get purchased in time...We also had the popcorn machine running and lemonade. (probably should've been apple cider, eh?)





The kids danced the night away and these are two very, very very, tired girls. They need a nap and a long lunch at Bistro Louise followed by pedicures. (meet the illustrious Jennifer...) You know, WHAT was I thinking taking a picure with a girl 8 years my junior when I hadn't slept and HAD PINK EYE???? I didnt even have on real make-up...scared to irritate my eyes.

**Two most embarrassing moments of the evening:

1. I was busy refilling lemonade and realized that I was singing - I knew every single word to Miley Cyrus's 7 Things! Huh? How? I'm not 13!

2. Jennifer and I somehow ended up dancing the Macarena with the kids. I overheard a dad whisper, "OMG! What would it be like if those two WERE drinking?"

It's Tuesday, and That Means It Is Recipe Time

Well, I did not know what I wanted to "trade" today, but sometimes it pays to be late to the party because then several people go and unknowingly create a "theme" for me! Apparently, the theme is desserts, predominantly of the cake variety. Further, seeing as I am currently drowning in apple craziness (see post below) this particular cake seems to suit the occasion. And, it is pretty darn yummy and perfect for fall. If you know me well, then you know that, for me, Fall arrives as soon as it is Honeycrisp time at Central Market.

Autumn Apple Cake

Cake:
3 cups all-purpose flour 11/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda 3 cups peeled, cored, chopped apples (about 2 1/2 apples)
1/2 tsp salt 1 cup chopped, toasted pecans (optional!)
2 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs

PreHeat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease 10-inch tube or bundt pan.
Sift together flour, baking soda, and salt.
Beat sugar, oil, eggs, and vanilla. until pale.
Mix in flour mixture one third at a time. (Batter will be very thick!)
Mix in apples (and nuts if you want them)
Into the pan, smooth the top.
Bake for 55 min (check on it early, Ive had it be done at around 45 minutes before)
Cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto rack to cool completely before glazing.

Glaze:
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/3 cup unsalted butter (Ive used salted - it was fine!)
1/3 cup milk

Bring all ingredients to a rapid boil in a small saucepan. Let boil for 5 minutes. Remove from heat and keep stirring (kind of vigorously) until all bubbles are gone. Spoon over cake.

And just to be over-the-top decadent, I serve each slice with a bit of caramel sauce! (oh, and to be technical, a sauce is not REALLLLY a caramel sauce if it is made with brown sugar. Technically you have to brown white sugar to create caramel sauce. A sauce using brown sugar such as this one is really a butterscotch sauce...just trivia for you)

Caramel Sauce:
3/4 cup butter
1 1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup heavy cream

Melt butter, brown sugar, and salt. Bring to a boil while stirring with whisk. Remove from heat. whisk in cream and vanilla.
You wont use all of this sauce. you can keep it in the fridge to put on ice-cream, pound cake, or whatever. Soften it from the fridge either in the microwave, or set container in warm water.

What Is Wrong With Being Purple????

Now, if you have a problem with my purpleness because I am a dinosaur and my every utterance is in a sing-gong annoying tone, then fine. Hate at will.

HOWEVER, I checked in the mirror. While I am definitively having a very bad hair day, I am most assuredly not a dinosaur. I also almost never sing.

So WHY does my purpleness seem to offend all my friends so? My red friends are annoyed by me, as are my blue friends. It is as if they would be less annoyed if I stood firmly on the side opposite of theirs. I don't get it. They liked me more back in '04 when I hated both parties offerings of leadership. Now that I have two prospects to be guardedly excited about, they are frustrated by me.

I think I'm just going to feign ignorance and stick to topics like baking, fashion, and celebrity gossip. But, I'll be wearing purple inside and out. Eggplant is THE color this fall, ya know?

Trader Tuesdays - on Wednesday

From Twitter today:
LEEXXXX @yankeemb ummm.... all talk and no recipe action? consider your wrist slapped. ;) Hope nothing bad happened... you ok? about 15 hours ago from web in reply to yankeemb

Nothing Bad happend, just, well, PTO happened.

So sorry about the Trader Tuesday fellow recipe lovers! My excuse is that it was the first PTO meeting of the year (my first meeting as president)...enough said? It was ca-ray-zeee around here! I thought Id post when I made it home after meeting and getting kids to bed...hahaha...I am so naive.

AAANNNDDD, there is the little matter that I am embarrassed to publish my recipe for the week in light of the fact that 3 of the Tuesday Traders are real Louisianans, not just people from the near-to-Louisiana gulf coast like myself. However, I am too damn tired to think of a new one, so here is my Cheater's version of Red Beans and Rice. It is SUPER QUICK and EASY, yet is still my husband's favorite dinner. I make sure to get this on the stove simmering before he comes home if he is mad at or annoyed with me. The smell hits him in the garage before he even walks into the house. He walks in the door with a smile. (If Ive REALLY pissed him off, I pour a really cold Abita into a frosty mug when I hear the garage door go up signaling his arrival) The kids all love it too - the beans, not the beer.

Cheater's Red Beans and Rice

• 1 -2 cloves garlic (to your taste)
• 1 lb smoked sausage (or whatever kind you like - andouille, hot, whatever, but plain 'ol smoked sausage will do )
• 1 medium onion (or 1/2 large) ( I don't like it too onion-y)
• 3 cans light red kidney beans
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 1 1/2 tsp Creole Seasoning ( I use Tony's)
• 1 small bay leaf
• a few dashes Louisiana style hot sauce (Tabasco, Louisiana, Crystal (my favorite), or another)
• A bit of olive oil
  

Finely chop onion. Slice sausage. (I like to cut my round slices into halves or fourths - I like smaller pieces of sausage, but you can leave them bigger if you like).

Heat enough oil in dutch oven to sweat the onion. After the onions have been in for a minute or two, add in the sausage and brown the onion and sausage together. When close to browned, add in your garlic. Finish browning. Then, add in your chicken broth to your hot pan, being sure to scrape up any of that yummy brown goodness sticking to the bottom of the pan. Then add in your 3, undrained, cans of beans. Stir in your seasoning, hot sauce, and bay leaf. Bring close to, but not quite to a boil. Then simmer for about 30 minutes covered. Then simmer for about 30-45 minutes uncovered. This sounds like a long time, but it is basically hands off for all of that simmering time except for the very occasional stir of the pot.

When you are ready, cook up some long grain rice. Serve beans over rice. I usually serve this up with some crusty French bread and a spinach salad. Leftovers are great and my boys love to take them for lunch at school. (consider this link to be additional kitchen help to make up for my tardiness in Tuesday trading!)

Okay, I'm off to do more PTO work and iron shirts for the fugliest formal uniform in the history of uniforms. (hate thursdays!) Once I get a little more caught up (when the hell is that going to be?*%$#!?#!) I plan to start a new series of posts. I was looking through my recent posts and archives and noticed that I sound a little too "perfect mommy - muffiaish" OOOH NO! Not so! So, I'm going to post some installments of "Greater Moments in Parenting" and some installments of "Lesser Moments in Parenting." You all have to promise to not call CPS though, okay?

For Tracy, A Picture as Promised...

I promised Tracy I would post a picture of my tiny little kitchen in our old house back in FL. She is picking paint colors and you should all go offer her some opinions!

Tracy, as you can tell, these are not great pictures due to problems with lighting and with angle. I remember it being very difficult to get a picture where you could see much of the walls and cabinets together. Anyway, this is the Montana Tan with birch cabinets. The counter tops were the original Formica, but it can give you an idea as to how this paint looks with fairly light, neutral counter tops even though they are not fabulous and gorgeous like your granite choices! (also, i think if you click on the picture for the enlarged view, you will get a better sense of the color)

I can't wait to see what you do pick!

Trader Tuedays - Per Mandy's Decree

Last week there was a funny Tuesday on which several of us all posted recipes or cooking/dinner ideas. It was a funny coincidence. Mandy, rightly, decided that we should declare future Tuesdays "Trading Recipe Tuesdays." I think it is a nice idea...It sucks when you get in a rut when feeding the family. I easily fall into dinner/kitchen ruts when the school year comes around and kicks my ass (which, BELIEVE ME, it is already doing!).

In recognition of Mandy's new found love of a yummy Heath Bar, I present Tiramisu Pie. It really is as "easy as pie!"

Tiramisu Pie

*Before starting, brew some strong, dark coffee, or make some espresso if you are a lucky duck with an espresso machine. Let the coffee or espresso cool somewhat. (Or, all the way, whatever!)

Ingredients:

1/2 cup Strong brewed coffee, or espresso
Your choice - Kahlua, Starbucks liqueur, or my pick, Van Gogh Double Espresso Vodka
1 regular size frozen pound cake, thawed. (or make your own, but that would kind of suck the "easy" right of the recipe.)
8 oz marscapone cheese
1 1/2 cups cool whip
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup chocolate syrup (store bought or homemade- you pick!)
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla
bit of sugar (maybe 2 Tbsp or so)
2 Heath or Skor bars (freeze them and then beat the heck out of them(I use a rolling pin or meat mallet) to crumble.)


Assemble:

1. Cut pound cake into slices about 3/4 inch wide. (eyeball it - you should end up with about 12-14 slices). Then, cut slices into halves, diagonally. Arrange these triangle slices to line the bottom, and up the sides of a deep dish pie plate.

2. Stir together the cooled coffee and the liqueur of your choice. Drizzle this all over the pound cake liner of the pie plate.

3. Beat marscapone, sugar, and chocolate syrup together with electric mixer. When blended, add in cool whip and beat until well combined. Pour this into the cake-lined pie plate. Chill for at least 2 hours.

4. Whip whipping cream with a small amount of sugar and 1 tsp vanilla. Evenly dollop over the pie. Top with a dusting of cocoa powder and crushed toffee bars.

Truer Words Never Spoken

A friend of Connor's came to pick him up to take him to his class's Back-to-School party tonight. His mother is very nice and she is fascinated by the pilot marriage lifestyle. She is constantly (like to the point of being annoying) telling me how she "could not do it!" she "doesn't know HOW I do it!" and that I am her "hero" and "amazing!" It is all very sweet. Really, it is. I'm not gonna say that I don't like the praise. I usually respond that,"Well, I've never known anything different." Today, she was gushing more than usual after a week of PTO craziness. She only saw the results. She didn't see the behind-the-scenes pictures of my house going to hell in a hand basket, or the laundry piling up higher than Mount McKinley, or the amount of fast food crap my children ate during the insanity that was my week. She once again said, " I just don't know how you do all that you do!"

Connor looked up at her and said, "Sometimes she just doesn't."

That, my friends, is EXACTLY HOW I do it...Sometimes I just DON'T.

Friend Unexpected

Remember this? and this? Well, I was wrong. Jennifer, Madame Vice President of the PTO, is far more than I had hoped. Y'all (YES! I SAID Y'ALL!), she is so awesome that I broke one of my cardinal rules...I sent her the link to the blog!!...a real-life person...a link to the blog...She is THAT cool!

Hi Jennifer - Love ya!

Too Tired to Actually Write Anything...Change of Command Festivities

We took the boys out to the squadron to see some of the cool planes that had flown in for the Change of Command on the Friday before the ceremony.

Do I not look preggers in this picture? Must burn that shirt immediately. Such a shame - I thought I loved that top!


Rich will hate that I included this picture, but I HAD to beecaauuse, look at Connor's face! Me thinks someone was annoyed! (If you can't see his face - I think if you click on the picture it will go to full size. Same goes for all of my pics on this blog far as I can tell.)

What is so funny? ME! That's what! And they were laughing AT me, not WITH me! To avoid this situation I recommend not mistaking the word "ecstasy" (the drug) with the "exit seat."

When I was downloading the pictures off the camera, I was like, "Holy Crap! There's a ghost behind Rich!" I always knew Jason was creepy!

Believe it or not, this picture is a total candid, not posed AT ALL...The most quintessential picture of Patton ever!

All I can hear in my head is Reese Witherspoon, "You have your baby!......In. a. bar."


This is what Rich and MaryB look like with headaches after along day. Somehow, whenever the white uniforms get worn, headaches ensue.

Food Is Love - Especially When It Is Chocolate.

It has been a rather sucky week thus far in internet land. Katie feels like crap and has had no sleep. Slynnro's yuppie world has been assaulted by crime yet again. Tessie revealed her shitty deal. Mandy is having a spell of self-doubt and general hand-wringing. And, then, there is the Queen of the Icebergs, who has more to deal with than can be asked of one human being (I'll link to her if I get her permission - she could really use as much good karma and as many warm thoughts as you could muster to send her way!)

If you have ever read about how this blog's title came to be, then you know I am, proudly, a southern girl. Well, in the south, we believe that anything can be fixed with food. Unfortunately I can't feasibly bake and deliver goodies to all of you. (Because I SO WOULD if I could!!) Instead, I'm just going to share my favorite easy chocolate pie recipe and you can all whip one up. We can have a virtual coffee-and-pie girlfriend pick-me-up date! This pie is not as rich and sinful as a French Silk (Rich's fav!), but it is a very rich and decadent result considering very minimal effort! I far prefer it in a blind-baked, traditional pie crust (Pillsbury roll n' bake will do!), but my kids prefer an Oreo or chocolate graham crust (which you can, of course, purchase pre-made at the store!).

Chocolicious Pie

• 2/3 cup milk
• 3/4 - 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (do not use milk chocolate!)
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 2 generous tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 14-oz can sweetened condensed milk
• 3 large eggs, beaten
• 11/2 tsp vanilla
• 4 Tablespoons butter, cut into a few pieces
• 1 cup heavy whipping cream whipped with 1/4 cup sugar (OR, if in a hurry pick up a can of the Extra Creamy Reddi-Whip!)
• Possible decorative and tasty toppings - finely chopped toffee bars, toasted and chopped nuts, mini chocolate chips, use your imagination or use nothing at all - that's fine too!

Heat milk (NOT the condensed milk!) in a a medium-large saucepan until it just begins to bubble around the edges (DO NOT LET IT COME TO A BOIL!) Remove from heat and whisk in chocolate chips until melted.

While that cools a bit, stir the condensed milk and vanilla into the beaten eggs. Stir together the cold water and cornstarch until it is not lumpy. Add cornstarch mixture to the egg mixture.

Add the egg mixture to the chocolate in the saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat whisking constantly. Boil for about 1 minute. the filling will thicken and smooth out very quickly once you reach this point. remove from heat and stir in the chilled butter.

Spoon mixture into your crust of choice. Chill several hours. Top with your sweetened, whipped cream. Add toppings if you choose!

And a Good Time was Had By All

I am having a hard time readjusting to normal life. Especially since normal life really is not normal life. I came home to a house torn down to the studs in my kitchen/family room. There are workmen of some sort or another here all the time. It is progress, exciting progress, but it is definitely not normal life. Vacation was WONDERFUL! There were some more pics I wanted to include but someone's hubs forbid me to post pictures of him without his written consent. I think he was kidding, but in the end, he wins because the adorable pictures of him and the adorable AJ left with Rich on the laptop. These will have to do for now. (Please keep in mind that I am NOT a photographer like Tracy or Paige!) It just figures that the only picture of me was taken the day I wore the bathing suit that I hate the most due to its unflattering nature! Grant turned 5 while at the beach! He loved his Kung Fu Panda cake, but was utterly TRAUMATIZED by the sombrero, singing, and smearing of whipped cream on his face at the Mexican restaurant. Seriously, it was bad. He was inconsolably sad. Thank God for my brilliant idea to let him open his presents to pull him out of his funk! And thank Ya-Ya Ma for getting him the Speed Racer that was just the thing that pulled him back into HappyLand!

So sweet, it will rot your teeth right the heck out!

There are no words for my happiness at seeing my and el-e-e's friendship pass down to the next generation!


WHAT kind of face is that you ask??? The face of a kid who REALLY doesn't want his picture taken, yet has been bribed for his compliance.


Summer Bliss!

Hey! My kid is UNDER the water!



Um, mom, if you keep calling my name to take my picture I'm going to get tagged and have to be Marco!


Yep, we built this, uh-huh, SUUURRE we did!


WHY WHY WHY was I wearing THIS damn suit and NOT one of the two I had like 8 million compliments on??? Also, could it not have been taken the day after I recovered from the salmonella poisoning and had the flattest stomach ever? So flat in fact, that my bathing suits would fall down!


No, Grant, we can't see you AT ALL! Nope, not a bit!

Taking a break from the sun and sand. I swear these cousins have a blast doing ANYTHING at all together!

I love that all the cousins love each other SO MUCH! But, WHEN did they get so damned old?

The requested, but oh-so-elusive, Kung-Fu Panda cake!

The incident that shall not be named. Aren't we great parents? His bottom lip is ACTUALLY quivering in this picure, and what are we DOING? Are we trying to console him? No, we are taking pictures to document his humiliation and misery.

See, Tebow was happy BEFORE they smeared whipped cream all over his face and laughed at him! Take note, future bride of Grant, there will be no cake smearing!

Edited to add...Grant just walked by as Connor and I were looking at the messy face picture. He became angry and indignantly declared, "Top lookee at dat!! It is NOT funny!"

Go Sell Crazy Someplace Else - We're All Stocked Up Here!

It has been my experience that making friends can be much like looking for a job. The problem with this is that sometimes, no matter how qualified an applicant you may be, there are no positions open.

I have decided that this is my problem here. Fort Worth is much like my hometown. It is a city whose residents are fiercely loyal to it. They grow up here, go away to college and then return as soon as is prudent with regards to their careers. This is especially true in the older Fort Worth neighborhoods. I would say that somewhere between 50 and 85 percent (closer to the upper figure!) of my neighbors grew up in this neighborhood or in a nearby Fort Worth neighborhood. They have an abundance of friends and family. I suppose this is one of the downsides to my insistence upon living in town v. the 'burbs.

There are many people I see on an almost daily basis. They are really nice to me. We laugh, we chat. It is good. I think this kinda' makes us "friends" more than just "acquaintances." However, this has not, as of yet, in 3 years, developed into an invitation to lunch or to anything else. I think that they like me, they really do, but all the positions in their circle of friends are filled. They are not looking for applications, no matter how great my resume may be.

You guys have any suggestions? This is new territory for me. In military land, everyone was in the same boat. We all had friends scattered all over the globe and we all needed some girlfriends in our present location. I think we were always accepting applications and handing out resumes. I am unsure as to how to navigate the friend market here. Is there a temp agency I should contact? Like a Manpower for friends or something?

Its Official! Straight from the Couch!

Let's get the awkward part out of the way...I've been seeing a therapist, okay? You would too if you moved to Texas.


First things first, I must think of something to call Ms. Therapist because therapist is too creepily formal. How about ShrinkyDink? An ode to arts and crafts of the 70s and 80s.


So, in "visiting" with ShrinkyDink, I may have discovered my personal "WHY" of blogging. This "WHY" question seems to be a prevalent blog topic, and I, not really one to contemplate the "why's" of things, never understood the prevalence. (Could I use a few more quotation marks? Is the quotation mark going to replace the ellipsis as my favorite punctuation mark?)


It seems that "pickings are slim" for friends here in Cowtown. (again with the quotation marks - but it is a quote of exactly what she said!) Yes, I have social acquaintances and such, but only one real friend and she likes to accuse me of being OC and anorexic which is getting OLD. The SAHMs here seem to like to participate in the big game of Competitive Parenting. A game in which I refuse to play. I am used to having a non-judgemental, open-minded, fun, and worldly bunch of girls. They were(are!) self confident, accomplished women who didn't need to hide behind their children or tear other people down to make themselves seem bigger. 'Round these here parts, it seems, all those types work outside the home. Thus, I am left seemingly alone to deal with those who choose to compete and live vicariously through their children. Ugh!

Eureka!!! This must be why I blog! So, if you are a real life friend 'o mine from one locale or another, you should be honored. Apparently I blog because I miss your smart and witty repartee!

Professional Advice from ShrinkyDink: Keep blogging or I will lean more and more on poor 'ol Rich who will be all, "Ugh! Woman! Space!! Please! Can't Breathe!"

In Which You Lose ALL Respect For Me - Pocket Phrase #1

Well, Rach, since you asked... I'll start by giving you my very mostest favoritist pocket phrase. YOU MUST PRACTICE it carefully to get the tone, emotion, and facial expression just right. It works in almost ANY situation. Is some gossip hag holding you hostage with her vitriol? This will shut her up, make her feel ashamed of herself for being such a gossipy bitch, and remind her that you will not sink to her level. Is someone trying to convince you of something REALLY STUPID? This handy pocket phrase will cause them to pause long enough to realize that they haven't thought this through. Is some hypocritical person hiding behind a veil of supposed "Christian concern" when they are really just being a judgmental bigot? Is someone trying to railroad you into an answer you are not ready to give? It will work for all of these uncomfortable situations and more! You come out smelling like a rose IF you pull it off CORRECTLY.

So, Rach, without further ado...

"That is a point of view I haven't considered. I'll have to give it some prayerful consideration and get back to you."

Use it carefully and wisely once you have perfected your delivery. Let me know how it works for you. Tell me some stories of "deer in the headlights" looks you leave in your wake.

NEVER...

...is exactly the last time I heard the words "last call" two nights in a row.

Photographic evidence of 8 hours of deteriorating class:

Aren't we lovely? ( However, I have to say that while I LOVE my Bare Minerals, I am noticing that they do not photograph well when a flash is involved.) My dress is now my prized possession. I have never bought anything off the rack that fit like it had been custom tailored to fit only me. Somebody needs to be throwing some parties or something so that I can wear it again pronto!

I love my SusannaBanana, and I also love pear cider at the Saucer.

After some more pear cider my cheeks get red. And, he said he would take our picture if he could take a picture with me too. The resulting hours of talking politics and religion and life with two people (who talk mostly to my boobs (thank you Victoria for sharing your secrets!!)) who are still so young and so idealistic that their world is still all black and white is made bearable, and in fact entertaining, with more cider.

How many martinis does it take before Susan turns into a possessed leprechaun?

There are no pictures from night two because you cannot stop singing, dancing, clapping, and laughing long enough at the Dueling Pianos to bother with the camera. (should have though!) And, it was so dark and chill in the Scat Jazz club that it would have ruined the atmosphere to shock everyone with a camera flash.

I'd love to tell you more, but, um, well, my mother reads this blog, and have I mentioned that my father is a deacon? Also, it would involve an actual candidate for US Congress. Let's just say that "Stella" got her groove back.

Better Than Zoloft

The other great, fantabulous thing about this weekend....

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL!!!!!!!!!

I'm going in knowing that it cannot be as good as the book, but going to love it anyway! Run, do not walk to your nearest theater!

Waste of Time and Good Times

I have a question. WHAT is the educational value of word searches? I can totally see their value as an activity to help make studying for a spelling test more interesting. Looking for letters of a word in the correct order could definitely accomplish that. However, beyond that I see no value at all except to waste time that could be spent actually studying. For example, a word search containing 44 words like deoxyribonucleic acid, allele, adenine, and guanine is STUPID. Seriously, what does looking for these words accomplish??? If there is some hidden purpose that I'm missing here please let me know. In that case, I will stop burning Jamie's teacher in effigy and remove her picture from the dartboard in the hall closet.

In other news, I have just opened my first Sophia for the weekend. The kids are in bed, Rich is on the last leg of his trip and when he arrives home in a few hours I am officially off duty for the next three days. The first three days of being off duty IN EIGHT YEARS!!! To mark the occasion, I got a new haircut and finally took the plunge and went to an all over color (damn the gray hairs!) under my highlights. The girl at the grocery check out told me I looked like Katie Holmes minus the crazy Scientology accessories. So, all in all, I think it is a success. Now, I just have to find a dress and get a pedi/mani! Hope you all have a great weekend!

A Lack of Intelligent Thought

I have used up all of my brain cells and their ability to articulate thoughts due to:

1. I feel like crap. Whoever left their knives stuck in my throat can feel free to remove them (please!)

2. I have no energy left to articulate as I have been trying very very hard to elegantly articulate, without my head exploding, to my husband the million reasons that his volunteering to go to Iraq/Afghanistan is a bad, nonsensical idea. You would be so proud of me. I only screamed at him once in the god-forsaken-never-ending-circular-miserable "conversation." The only time I actually started to lose it was when I screamed at him that maybe if he made better voting choices we wouldnt be having this conversation. Obviously this is a topic which warrants its own post, or maybe a million posts, but I lack both the energy and perspective to try to sort any of it out in a sensible manner at this point. Why Why Why did I marry a man with a freakin hero savior complex?????? Oh, see there I go...time to stop right now.

3. I'd rather spend all of my remaining mental energy on happier things, like when might baby el-e-e appear??? What will her name be?