I think this is what rock bottom feels like. When you honest to God do NOT recognize the person you see in the mirror. I have let myself go, people. When did this happen? This shit has got to stop. So, here is what I am thinking. Remember how dear Bridget started every entry with her current fags, glasses wine, pounds, etc.? Well, I don't smoke and have zero interest in telling you what I weigh. However, if I had to tell the whole damn internet every blessed little thing I ate every day and account for my visits to the gym then, maybe, I would be shamed into getting my freaking act together. I am not this person I have become and will not become her. Okay, so what if I just said I've already become her. What the hell ever, you know what I mean.
I'm off to contemplate my realistic plan for self improvement before my husband leaves me for some flight attendant who did not eat like 8 bazillion valentine chocolates yesterday.
It feels pathetic to post this, but I know me and humiliation is a great motivator.
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7 comments:
The food diary will change your life.
Or scare the shit out of you at least.
Katie passed along your blog to me. I to am in the same boat as you (or plane in our case) My husband flies two planes, and your romancing post was great. I always think I want to do something romantic, but I just don't ever come up with anything that isn't cheesy. That was fabulous, but even more is that he took the time to reply. No, I don't think someone like that is looking at any flight attendants!
Make a list of goals and stick it on your fridge alnog with a picture of yourself. Trust me here.
Yay, a health kick! While I seriously doubt that you are like HIDEOUS or anything, I love a good health kick.
Ooh, I loved Bridget's daily tally. You should take up smoking just so you can report how many you had.
No... wait. That's not what I meant.
You can DO IT, although like Tessie, I seriously doubt it's as bad as you say it is. Good luck. I'll be happy to share tips if you're looking for assvice. ;)
el-e-e - I was thinking the same thing. How many cookies I had is not nearly as entertaining as how many cigs...Im open to all advice. Send me email full of things to try. And, you are right, most Americans would have a fit that I am freaking out tlike this but, as you well know, there are many factors that come in to play here.
SLynnro - hoping for both!
Annie- picure of the me I used to be and want to return to, or the current me I want to get rid of??? Interesting psychology debate there!
Tracy - Thanks so much for visiting and commenting! Sorry you happened to visit when I was having one of my tempertantrum days!
MB- I can not be trusted with chocolate in the house. I have to eat a little bit to cure the craving and then toss it out. (When I say toss, I mean bottom of the trash can with nasty stuff on top of it so I'm not tempted to dig it out.) I've started doing the same with other temptations. When I have a craving, I eat a little bit and then toss it. This has worked for me quite well in the past.
P.S. I think you look great. You look so happy and vibrant in all of your photos.
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