Wanted: Geography Tutor

Last night, I was helping Con (4th grade) work on his oh-so-very-long take home Spanish test. Because you know it would be too convenient if that test came home while the father WITH A DEGREE IN SPANISH was home! I got stuck, so I called Rich in his hotel room. At some point he is incredulous that the Spanish teacher has not taught something or another in a certain way and Connor says (in his best DUH! tone), "well, what do you expect when your Spanish teacher is from Australia?"

And I say, "Connor, Ms. Herxxxx(very Latin name) is NOT from Australia!"

Connor replies, "Oh yes she is! She told us so!"

I look at him quizzically for a moment and tell Rich I do not know what Connor is talking about.

Then I hear Jamie's(6th grade) voice calling from the kitchen. I cannot tell what he is saying. So he comes into the living room doorway. He looks totally annoyed. He rolls his eyes. He proceeds to say completely deadpan, "Mom, it may be useful for you to know that Australia rhymes with Venezuela." And walks away shaking his head.

A Timely Reminder

Backstory: I live in Texas. Country music is inevitable, so just shut it! Okay? (and, before el-e-e outs me, yes, I listened to it in high school too when we were both dating baseball players.) Also, the end of the school year is always INSANE. It is like there is this last big push to cram in some more mega-learning and project intensity to force one more big lesson in time management.

Anyway, life has been insane. Hormonal early teen, lots of projects, home remodeling, Rich's schedule is crazier than usual.

I heard this* on the radio yesterday. My perspective was totally different the rest of the night. If you are a mom, I highly suggest putting this on your i-pod for times when you wonder "Can this day just be over already?!?!"

I'd like to elaborate, but the song says better than I could how it felt to be discusssing if Jamie would inherit Rich's accord in two years or not...

* sorry for the cheesy video, couldn't think of another place to link to.

For Slynnro...

Here it is. The makeup drawer...

Bare Escentuals. the whole kit and kaboodle. all the steps and brushes...all of it.

Olay Regenerist - daily exfoliating scrub, moisturizer, eye serum/primer - skin looks and feels as good as any very pricey product I have used.

Almay makeup remover pads

Maybelline Superstay Lip Color - it really, really works!

Mary Kay eyeliners -and MAC in teddy

Liquid eye liner - i forget who's...

Mary Kay lipsticks in Black Cherry and Apple Berry

Mascaras - oh so many! they deserve their own post. I am obsessed with mascara!

Mary Kay lash curler - I really want the Shu Uemura, but always think, so expensive...convince me that it is worth it! Really! As obsessed as I am with mascara, it would follow that I should have THE best curler!

Revlon Colorstay eyeshadows - go on like velvet and really, really stay for 24 hours unless you take them off! I have the vintage rose collection and the neutral khakis

Feeling Better About this Already

Today is a GLORIOUS day! Truly. It is not too hot, it's not cold, just the most pleasant sunny, blue-skied day you could imagine. so, when invited to meet for lunch/kid play time at Central Market I said "YES!" without hesitation. (Although, I should have gotten myself home to keep cleaning for impending in-law!!!) So, there we sat enjoying the lovely weather and lunch al fresco as the kids frolicked on the playground (and, please don't think my life is this leisurely or luxurious all the time!) when I hear a friendly "Hello! OMG! I am SO embarrassed!" It was my new Vice President of the PTO. She had in her cart 6 bottles of wine and one case of high-end beer. She was embarrassed???? I was all, "Are you kidding me? This is like a sign from God that this is gonna be okay after all!"

It Was Inevitable

I found this cc in my inbox this morning.

Hi XXXXX (Principal dude)
The PTO officers for next year are set!

Pres. - Mary Beth XXXXXXX
V. Pres. - Jennifer XXXXXX
Sec. - Dawn XXXXXXXX

I have spoken to each of these ladies about the commitment and duties of the PTO. They are going to do a great job! The current PTO officers will be meeting with them before the end of the month(April) to pass forward all the current info we have for PTO. I will inform Mary Beth about the discernment for Advisory Council, May 9th.

I would like to make this exciting announcement in next week's Monday Memo. I will send something to Pearl on Monday.

We are very thankful to these ladies for stepping up and taking on these PTO officer positions.

Mia XXXXXX

Wish me luck - this is going to be interesting. The good news is:
1. TONS of blog fodder
2. The VP is AWESOME!! young, sweet, fun, smart, sassy, and loves wine. I think she and I will become great friends.
3. If I screw it up, at least I'll be able to say to everyone, "hey! not a single ONE of you offered to do it and that's how I ended up here so just shut it!"
4. PTO pres is an automatic seat on advisory council - I'll get those hideous middle school uniforms changed!!!! And new ties too. Curriculum be damned - fix the uniforms! (haha - just kidding)

I must go furiously clean now. I just got less than 24 hours notice that my pa-in-law is on his way here for a visit, and my house is not house guest-ready!

The ONE Time I Go to Bed Early!

It is no secret that I would leave my husband for John Stewart. The Daily Show has, however, IMHO, been a little stale lately. So, I didn't give it much of a thought last night as I went to bed directly after Top Chef last night. Holy Moly...I missed THIS! I have not laughed this hard in years! Watch the whole thing and you wont need your Prozac or Zoloft today!

I'm sure that as a good Catholic girl I should be offended or something. I, contrarily, find it almost reverent of the Pope (the Popey Po Po aka Legs Benedict!). I mean, seriously, don't you feel sorry for this very educated, intellectual, multi-lingual man having to make small talk with Dubya?

Anywho, whether you love Dubya, hate Catholics, love Catholics, this is some funny funny stuff!
Much , much funnier than reading me drone on about wood flooring choices or new miracle bathroom cleaners which are the only things I've got on the brain today!

Game Over

Texas wins. We are probably heading back to the ranch next weekend. So, I am purchasing either these or these.

Is it time to rename the blog?

Can I Use your Shower?

Isn't this what all of your friends and neighbors ask you when they call? They would if they were me.

Here are a few pictures of my front yard. Do you like what Ive done with the landscaping? My services are always available.

What started as a simple installation of a sprinkler system has turned into replacing main lines from city meter to my house. What made people 50 yrs ago think that galvanized steel was a good plumbing material? And, how much do you think all that new shiny copper is going to cost me? You know, copper, like they steal out of streetlamps and various other crazy places due to its ever increasing value?

This is just the very first of our remodeling projects! Heaven help us!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?*&#!%?! Part 2

Me? PTO president? Seriously? I am so very flattered that you asked, really I am (even though I am guessing that it was mostly out of desperation). But, have. you. met. me? I am not patient. I am not good at delegating. I am a control freak and tend to get a little pissy when things are not done my way. I am overly opinionated about why and how things should be done. Did you hear me last week when I said the first thing I would do if I was PTO president would be to disband the PTO??? I do not believe in perpetuating the vain efforts of an ineffectual organization. I would create a room mothers' association, because that's what it is.

On the other hand, who the hell am I kidding? We all know perfectly well that you will call me back and tell me that there is just no one else who could possibly do this next year and how you neeeeddd me to do this. I will be guilted into agreeing and then I will hate myself (and possibly you) for the next 12 months. I should just go ahead and call the real mafia (cuz I gots me some connections!) to take care of the Dad's Club Mafia because they will be the second, if not the very first, person/persons to piss me the hell off.

You know what? If I got a part time job at the Banana, I'd get a discount on some cute clothes! Am I going to be getting a discount on tuition?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?*&#!%?!

Dudes, the scale just keeps creeping up and up!!!!!!! And, please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT try to tell me that it is because muscle weighs more than fat. I did not put on weight from muscle in 8 days. OMG! I am pissed. These are the results I get for pretty much rearranging my life schedule to accommodate "the plan?"

My uneducated opinion is that this BFL program is designed for people who are either men, or those who are not small people! I think I am eating too darn much. Mr. Phillips, I officially quit your eating program. I'll keep eating "authorized" foods, but I'm eating way less of it than you recommend. Also, I'm just not buying into this 20 minute cardio interval thing. I know you have thousands of success stories, but I'm thinking they changed your program to fit their bodies too. mostly I'm thinking they did way more than 20 minutes of cardio 3 times per week.

Today's mood: FRUSTRATED!

BFL - A Progress Report

So, Body for Life has been not too miserable thus far. I do have some serious chocolate cravings late at night, but once I made it to my first Sunday (that's your free day) and had a Dove truffle egg, I was much better. Did not crave the chocolate last night. Oh, and I can't seem to resist stealing 2 or 3 of the kids' Ritz crackers when they are snacking after school! Any body have any will power they would like to loan me? The BFL food has been good, but I cannot seem to eat as often as they say you should. Even with the convenience of the bars and shakes (mostly bars - I can't stand the shakes), I can't eat that often. Part of the problem being that he recommends that your work out on an empty stomach and then wait about 45 minutes to an hour before eating after your workout. As a mom who gets two separate sets of children off to school in shifts, this is tough. My eating schedule is all thrown off first thing in the morning. so, to deal with this in a non-OCD way, I am just ignoring the set schedule of the plan and eating the plan approved type pf meals and snacks at appropriate intervals once my morning workout is complete. this means that my first meal is usually around 11:30am. hmmm....might need to re-think the plan if any of you can, with evidence, tell me that not eating earlier in the day is trashing all of my hard work.

First upper body workout was good and bad. The Good: Worked out with the husband, It was fun to do it together. Also, I am stronger than I thought. The Bad: I am stronger than I thought, and therefore sis not lift heavy enough and was barely sore AT ALL the next day which made me feel like I wasn't working hard enough.

The Cardio has been great. I have upped his 20 minute plan to 25 minutes just because 20 minutes isn't long enough. Don't get me wrong, at minutes 18 and 19 I want the pain to stop, but once I finish those two high intensity interval minutes I feel the need to drop the intensity back down and enjoy that endorphin high I get from being "in the zone". I don't get that "zoned out" air head feeling when doing intervals. So, I am still in and out of the gym in less than 40 minutes (about 35 to be exact). Rich and I did cardio together yesterday - he mad e me use the stationary bike - I HATED it. Will try to avoid it. However, I think his point that I need to always be mixing up my cardio equipment is valid.

First Lower Body Workout was crap. I knew I had a fairly strong lower body (as do most women), but I still underestimated. Also, most annoying, was that my gym did not have some of the machines I had planned on using, which threw off the whole quick rhythm of my workout. I tried to improvise my calf workout doing raises using dumbbells when every damn type of calf apparatus was in use...(was it world calf day or something???) Well, dumb, dumb idea. My arms were still sore from previous upper body workout and even if not could not possible hold the weight my calves would need to get a decent workout. So, next time Ill just wait on one of the damn machines...Anyway, left the gym that day feeling very frustrated. We'll see how today goes.

Here is a recipe for protein pancakes that I(and the whole family, amazingly!) love...Sounds gross, but tasty. Just don't be expecting light and fluffy. Think more like Swedish pancakes...

In blender puree:
1 c cottage cheese
splenda to taste
cinnamon to taste
6 egg whites
3/4 cup oats

Coat pan with non-stick spray. cook like you would regular pancakes. I used sugar-free syrup, but you could just eat them plain. They are yummier than you would think!

Also, similar - Puree cottage cheese with splenda and cinnamon, and tiny drizzle of sugar-free maple syrup. Use as dip for apple slices.

I have been keeping chopped cooked chicken in the fridge so that I can easily have a protein on top of a salad or throw into a low-carb, whole wheat wrap on the way out the door. I just saute it in the pan with a little non-stick spray, garlic salt, pepper, and paprika. When it almost done, I sprinkle on a little Worcestershire. Pretty yummy. The kids love it too. Grant calls it toothpick chicken because he likes to pick up the pieces with a toothpick and eat them.

So, there you have it - the most boring, self-serving post ever written, but it helps to keep me honest if I have to tell all of you about it. And, I'm always open for suggestions on how to do better. And, lastly, Tessie loves it.

HOLY MOLY, MAMA MIA!!!

Saturday Report from "Casa de MaryB":

I hear from my comfy, warm bed, "Guys, settle down so you don't wake up your mom."

Then, a little while later, I wake up to discover that the man has made me breakfast, a breakfast in total compliance with the BFL plan. He has made me coffee, and pours me a cup when I walk out to the kitchen! He did all of this on a morning when he was heading out to fly. AND, when I looked around, he had actually cleaned up any mess or dishes he had made while making us breakfast!

I think I'll keep around him a little longer.

Spring Break 2008

We had a great Spring Break with the boys. We stayed in Fort Worth and basically acted like tourists in our own town. Thankfully, there is a lot to do around here. My one regret is that we did not make it down to Fossil Rim. We will have to get there another weekend sometime soon. Another thing that made spring break so nice this year was that the public school districts here all went back to school as our spring break was starting, so all the popular activities/attractions were not crowded.



Of course the first night, per tradition, was ICE CREAM FOR DINNER NIGHT! Thank Goodness I had not started Body for Life yet!
We went bowling and out to totally yummy, but completely unhealthy dinners. We took the boys to the Cattlepen Maze and watched our little boys act like rats in a maze while we laughed on the observation landing up above.

Once the boys found their way out, we strolled around the Stockyards and had an early Mexican dinner outside. After a margarita or two, Rich may our may not have been dancing at the table. Since we are not at all competitive, Rich and I had a race to see who could finish all the mazes and word searches on the kids' menu first.

We had to wait for the longhorns to make their way down Exchange Avenue before we could get in our car to head home.

The Next day we headed down to Austin because A) Austin is awesome, and B) To spring Rich' s Nana out of the assisted living facility for the afternoon. Her first request was for some spicy enchiladas because as she said, "They feed us boring bland food like we are old people." This cracked me up! Then she said she'd like to drive around the UT campus a bit. We obliged and she did some reminiscing about her college days and asked if the boys would consider attending school there. I tried to explain to her that this is impossible since Texas has the oh-so-freaking-stupid 10% rule (post about this in the near future), but the Alzheimer's was not helping her to understand. And, I should have known better than to try to have that kind of discussion with her. After that she went to Barton Springs with us and we all took the train-obsessed Grant for a ride on the Zilker Zephyr around the park.

We let the boys go for a dip in the springs (crazy fools - its freaking COLD!) We headed back north to Fort Worth after smuggling a Wendy's Single, fries, and coke back into the care facility with Nana.

SIDE NOTE: Here is something I think about everytime we are on the road: What would Laura Ingalls say if she could see this? Seriously, from her perspective...Not only can we drive 80mph down a paved interstate, but we can watch movies and have cold drinks and snacks while we do it. It would blow her mind. Do any of you ever have weird thoughts like this about how far we've come?

We also took the kids to Six Flags (ugh!) I'm not a theme park kind of girl. But, they had a blast and even I had some fun. Grant was seriously pissed that they kept telling him he was too short to ride the roller coasters.

I was sad for the boys to go back to school, and for life to go back to our normal routine. Only 8 more full weeks of school before summer vacation though!!!