Yesterday found me at Target to buy supplies for Connor's project, Benadryl for his rash, and coffee creamer for my survival.
So, it is odd then, that when I checked out I had about a bazillion dollars worth of new lingerie. They have cute stuff there people! And, their 32A gel push-ups are one of the two best bras I've ever found for my "petite" physique. Anyways, I was checking out with about 8 or 9 matching sets of very pretty (and a little "racy") things. The checker-outer is going about her scanning of the many items and then stops abruptly. She has an eggplant colored lacy bra in her hand as she looks up at me and says,
"So, did you just get a divorce?"
AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION NOW REQUIRED:
Slynnro makes a good point in the comments. On the outside I stared at her blankly and said something really eloquent like, "uuummm, no." On the inside I was lecturing her that "if more married women were wearing this stuff regularly maybe there would be less divorces" and some other snarky comments about "married people get laid too, ya know."
NOW, I want to know what YOU would have said!!!!!
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15 comments:
That? Is hilarious.
BUT WHAT DID YOU SAY????
Too funny.
I wouldn't have known what to say! Even now I have no idea, but tonight when I'm lying in bed the most perfect snarky comment will come to me. Always when it's too late!!!
I think that is so funny.I will be checking out Targets undies. You made me lol. I think Patrick might be able to make a comedy joke out of it. You always have good laughing moments. The first funny moment you shared with me was you were a new Navy wife and you went to park at the Commissary and you were happy to find General parking.
Tell the CFO that the HFO (Home Front Officer) can override CFO decisions when it comes to high priority communication technology.
Liz
Not being quick on my feet, I probably would have said something like "No...just tired of wearing cotton."
Now that I've thought about it, though, and am prepared should that ever happen to me in the future (because Sid likes matching bra and panty combo), I would say something like "No...my son has a friend coming over to spend the night and I need something decent to wear rather than walking around naked like usual" OR "No...when is your baby due?"
HAHAHAHA Julie! Awesome.
I would have said, "Umm, Wow... not sure THAT's an appropriate question."
Not really, I would have been completely dubmbfounded.
Oh Julie - I am SO saving that retort for the next time it is even remotely applicable! Ive been looking for way to get fired from this PTO crap!
Liz - OMG! Now whos has who lol??? I hadnt thought about "general parking" in years???? But, SERIOULY WHY, for the love of PETE is there "General" parking on a NAVY base??? Shouldnt that be "Admiral" parking???? I only knew navy people growing up! Oh, and Im giving up the new phone so that I can stilla ffoord a weights trainer for the next few weeeks. Im choosing vanity.health over technology for now. (Ill bet he gets me a new one for Christmas:) )
I probably would have had the blank stare as well, but I'd hope I'd have the presence of mind to say something like:
No, these are for my affair.
or
No, these are for my grandma. We're the same size.
can I just say that I H.A.T.E. when ANY cashier makes ANY comment about ANYthing I buy ....
I would have said "what" b/c CLEARLY a normal person doesnt ask that ... then probably just "no" and I would have come back here and bitched about it on my blog.
I do love Julies answer though.
Mandy - you must LOVE the SNL Target cashier skit that they do fairly regularly? You have seen it? If not, you must!
I havent seen it ... I am kinda behind the times with SNL .. should I go look for it somewhere?!?!?
I was just going to say this reminds me of the SNL lady (I LOVE that skit!!) It was just on this last week with Ben Affleck, who was also rather funny!
Anyway...I can't BELIEVE she said that. It is wrong on so many levels. First, assuming you were married in the first place. Maybe you're a hot swingin' single? Second, assuming you aren't married just because you are buying lingerie--married people don't like pretty lingerie? Third, assuming ANYTHING about your marital status. And Fourth, ASKING YOU about it.
You could have said, "No. Not yet, but once my husband sees this Target bill it may be another story..."
After being interrogated about our finances by my new neighbor...I would've laughed at the Target cashier. But not the funny haha laugh like she's hilarious, the OMG did you just comment about my sex life right here by the conveyor belt laugh. And yes, I have a laugh for occasions like this. I'm getting used to people all up in my business these days.
Oh my!! I'm rolling on the floor laughing! I agree Target has super get undies and such -- and it never fails that I always get the nervous, pimple-faced kid or the unapproving grandmother-type to check me out. I sooo can't believe she said that!
Okay by the time I got to the end, I forgot the question.. I am laughing at the "general parking" That is too funny.
Oh yes, I don't think that quickly on my feet, so I am sure I would have turned bright red and would have avoided the checker at all costs.
(note to self, must check out lingerie section at Target)
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