Better Than Zoloft

The other great, fantabulous thing about this weekend....

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL!!!!!!!!!

I'm going in knowing that it cannot be as good as the book, but going to love it anyway! Run, do not walk to your nearest theater!

Waste of Time and Good Times

I have a question. WHAT is the educational value of word searches? I can totally see their value as an activity to help make studying for a spelling test more interesting. Looking for letters of a word in the correct order could definitely accomplish that. However, beyond that I see no value at all except to waste time that could be spent actually studying. For example, a word search containing 44 words like deoxyribonucleic acid, allele, adenine, and guanine is STUPID. Seriously, what does looking for these words accomplish??? If there is some hidden purpose that I'm missing here please let me know. In that case, I will stop burning Jamie's teacher in effigy and remove her picture from the dartboard in the hall closet.

In other news, I have just opened my first Sophia for the weekend. The kids are in bed, Rich is on the last leg of his trip and when he arrives home in a few hours I am officially off duty for the next three days. The first three days of being off duty IN EIGHT YEARS!!! To mark the occasion, I got a new haircut and finally took the plunge and went to an all over color (damn the gray hairs!) under my highlights. The girl at the grocery check out told me I looked like Katie Holmes minus the crazy Scientology accessories. So, all in all, I think it is a success. Now, I just have to find a dress and get a pedi/mani! Hope you all have a great weekend!

Still don't much feel like writing, but I also feel left out of the blogging fun. Strange irony I know. So, as a solution, I'll show you where I've been for the past week and tell you that I highly, highly recommend a vacation sans cell phone, laptop, internet, and TV!!! I never thought Id say that, but it does do wonders for the soul...you should try it.

Ta Ta For Now...

Don't want you guys to think Iam just a big, lazy slacker. So, just a quick line to let you all know I am going on a blogging hiatus. I'll be checking on all of your goings on though because you all are so darn interesting, insightful, and funny. Hopefully I will feel like rejoining you all in the near future. Until then, keep me laughing, will ya?

A Lack of Intelligent Thought

I have used up all of my brain cells and their ability to articulate thoughts due to:

1. I feel like crap. Whoever left their knives stuck in my throat can feel free to remove them (please!)

2. I have no energy left to articulate as I have been trying very very hard to elegantly articulate, without my head exploding, to my husband the million reasons that his volunteering to go to Iraq/Afghanistan is a bad, nonsensical idea. You would be so proud of me. I only screamed at him once in the god-forsaken-never-ending-circular-miserable "conversation." The only time I actually started to lose it was when I screamed at him that maybe if he made better voting choices we wouldnt be having this conversation. Obviously this is a topic which warrants its own post, or maybe a million posts, but I lack both the energy and perspective to try to sort any of it out in a sensible manner at this point. Why Why Why did I marry a man with a freakin hero savior complex?????? Oh, see there I go...time to stop right now.

3. I'd rather spend all of my remaining mental energy on happier things, like when might baby el-e-e appear??? What will her name be?

Definitive proof that you have had a crappy, crappy day...

Plan for dinner:

Seared scallops with lemon pasta and a spinach salad


Actual dinner:

Pizza from Papa John's that you order online because you dont want to even have to talk to the order-taker-chick on the phone.

Decisions, Decisions....

I think I already know what my decsion on this is, but I am interested to get your thoughts on a situation that has arisen here, because you guys seem like a sharp bunch of people. I need a sanity check.

Our house is small for a fam of 5. Have I mentioned that like a million times yet? However, I like it. I will like it oh-so-very-much more in the near future after we finish our re-do this summer. It is a great house in a sought-after neighborhood. While the rest of the country is in a housing crisis, Cowtown is holding its own and maybe even still thriving in my part of town thanks to the Barnett Shale (did I mention my house is sitting on top of it?) and some other factors. In fact, the realtors who helped us to buy this house have called several times in the past year asking us if we are ready to move up because they have a family who is looking that our house would be perfect for. There is NO inventory in our neighborhood, especially in our house's price range. These conversations always end with, "yea, so where would I go if they bought my house?" Answered with, "well, there is that problem...as you are unwilling to move out of this part of Ft Worth..."

BUT a house just came on the market - it is PERFECT! It is in the right neighborhood. It has a pool...needs minimal cosmetic change....it is pricey. We could (barely) swing the mortgage. Rich's analogy to me was this: "Remember when we moved here and we could afford NOTHING and you felt like your life was a prison? Well, for the next couple of years you would just be living in a nicer prison, you know, like the federal white collar prison." He told me to think about it and get back to him. I'm thinking that I don't look forward to being house poor. On the other hand, can I trust that fate will put another house on the market in a few years that is as perfect for our needs as this one? Rates are low. But, rates were low when we bought our current house too...so my mortgage is like miniscule....and I am excited about our remodel plans and rates are low for a HELOC right now...and that upgrade to captain just slips further and further into the future... (thanks a lot Mr. Economy and Mr. 60 year old!)

So, opinions? Stay the course? Buy now and suck it up for future happiness's sake?

WHEN IS SPELLCHECK COMING BACK??????? BLOGGER - GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!!!!!

Since it is my policy to not blog about politics...

1. Lets just start with the husband. His most recent trip required him to call me for directions. First of all, we bought you a really nice GPS, why didn't you take it you??? Secondly, he was asking me for directions, somewhat impatiently, while he was on the H1 looking for the Outrigger Waikiki! What was I doing? Checking math homework, explaining predicate adjectives and nominatives, yelling at children to brush their teeth....and seriously, you are surprised that I sound a little annoyed to be google mapping your route to the freaking Outrigger?

2. You come home from trip to Hawaii and start telling me how you wish I was the kind of woman who could homeschool our children. "We are slaves to their school schedules, and you are so smart, and their tuition is 5 gajillion million dollars, you could save us money"...blah blah blah. HAS HE MET ME???? Has he seen me check their homework? A charging rhino would scare them less than having me for a teacher. And, lets just talk about how, one more time, you inadvertently make me feel like there are a million other women who do something better than me! Is this inferiority complex in my own head? Probably. Still, does he have to feed the monster?

3. I am 33. People should not use the word perimenopuse in a sentence where I am the subject!


Okay, enough with the bitching. Here are some non-bitchy odds n' ends:

1. Grant has taken to calling me "Mama Maribel." I have no idea where this came from. (Maribel is not my name in case the maryb led you to believe that. Its MaryBeth in case you were wondering)) It is very cute. It makes me smile.

2. We are having a barbecue at my friend Heidi's this weekend. It is all a ruse to get her friend Amy together with my brother-in-law. Im interested to see how that goes. Match making is mostly ill advised, but I can't resist.

3. Remember this? Well, the year is more than half over and I have survived thus far! One more major project and then it will get so much easier.

4. My friend Susan has figured out why Vista sucks. so. terribly. badly. She has decided that it was engineered by a 15 year old boy, and the program, like its maker, just masturbates all day. It gets itself all worked up. Explodes. Then, it has to nap to recover. Repeat. Over over and over. Multiple times per day. Rich asked if I had been drinking when I was on the phone with her. I can't remember the last time I laughed that much. Do you think Apple could work this into one of their Mac v. PC ads?

5. I have not shopped at Eddie Bauer in years, not since the late '90s in Japan when they were one of the only people with a really good on-line store. Their catalog came in the mail yesterday and I think I MUST have this trench! So cute in the robin's egg blue! Is Eddie trying to step up the style a little bit beyond the camping cargos?

Okay, well, obviously I have nothing worth writing about today. As if that is any different than every day? Have a great Thursday.

Obnoxious and Inexcusable OR Money Can't Buy Class

Today, was the most uncomfortable speech therpay session so far.

During the different (group, class, and individual) parts of therapy parents and professors get to watch and listen through two-way mirrored glass. (Sometimes it feels like you are seeing the future and your child is being interrogated by the police.)

Well, obviously, during the group and class sessions there are other parents (moms) in the observation room with you. We have all been sitting together in that room for a month now. Everyone except me has been sitting there together since August. You chat. You get to know people. Which is why the following upset me so much.

There we were today watching our children try to read the word face (spelled fais, face, and fays!) when a mom I did not know came in. She was friends with two of the other moms that I did know. First of all they were too chatty. If I wasn't there to observe Grant and learn something from it, I would be off doing the million errands I need to get done. - not sitting here wasting my time. Then it gets worse. These women go on and on and on about which gym has the best sauna and how cute their new trainer is, and which one is going to which exotic vacation spot next and OMG therewasNOendtotheobnoxiousness! I was so embarrassed. There are two very sweet, smart women in there who, it is obvious, struggle financially largely due to the plight of their children. They have medical bills piling up, they are homeschooling their other children (and doing a damn good job of it). One of them was just telling us on Monday how her minivan needs a new engine and they can NOT afford it. Honestly, I am probably closer in financial well being to the obnoxious women than the other women and even I was about to crawl out of my skin with annoyance. Do some people just have no situational awareness? Or compassion? Do they not realize how ridiculous and shallow they sound? Oh, and THEN they all got out their iphones to compare what color their protector sleeve thingies were and THEN tried out each other ringers and shit! Are you kidding me? How old are you??? Do you remember where you are?

And, the icing on the cake? One of the snooty stupid women kept talking about the weird neighbor with an "Emma" for a pet. I could not figure out what the hell she was talking about. Later I realized she meant an EMU! If you are going to be an obnoxious, snooty asshole, could you at least have a decent vocabulary?

I almost forgot to tell you this part...During Grant's individual therapy they were working on the "L" sound. She showed him a picture of a lock. Grant says, "yea, my dad has a lock on his gun so I wont accidentally shoot people." Holy Crap!!!!!! Does she know that the only reason there is a gun in our house is because of something to do with one of my husband's jobs? Does she know this gun is not technically ours? Does she know I am for gun control??? OMG she must think we are some kind of Texas native, concelaed permit carrying, gun collecting red necks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does she know that my husband was on an Olympic development pistol team? That he is a nut-job about gun safety? I MUST find a way to let her know...Kids, they say the darndest things!

More Rule Breaking

However, I am proud. Still not happy about this meaning that it isn't OVER yet!

At any rate...Yay, Jamie! And, thanks to Grandma for all of her help! (My mom - she is a multi-talented lady!)

Some Unsolicited Food and Baking Advice and Beating a Dead Horse

1. My preferred method to make buttercream frosting is to make a simple syrup and then beat into a butter, etc. This makes the creamiest, dreamiest buttercream. Like silk. However, a girl does not always have time for this. And I HATE canned frosting!! That is not ever an option. Ick! Gross! Disgusting! So, today I was making a chocolate cake and tried something new. I found a recipe where you beat heavy cream into the confectioner's sugar. Then melt your butter and unsweetened chocolate together and beat that melted mixture into the cream/sugar. The only drawback if you are in a hurry is that you need to let it cool in the fridge for about 15-20 minutes before frosting your cake or cupcakes. It is not as smooth as the real deal, but is less grainy than the usual beat-sugar-into-butter variety.

2. I have to find time to get my lazy self to Dallas. I need (read: crave) some mojitos, a cubano, plantains, and QUATTRO LECHES!

3. After years of missing Pancho's green salsa (who knew your favorite salsa could come from a Mexican restaurant in Japan?), and never having been able to dupilcate it, I have found a tomatillo salsa that is so yummy!!! We have been eating it on everything. Grilled chicken, quesedillas, chips, fajitas. Once, I even caught Rich eating it with a spoon when all the chips were gone. Surprisingly it is made by regular old Pace. It is the salsa verde in their new collection. I highly reccomend it, and I am picky!

4. I am giving up chocolate for Lent. I am nuts. Not as nuts as the crazy ass lunatic who suggested I give up COFFEE or DIET COKE!!!! Do you know any crack addicts who are giving up crack for LENT?????



Okay, lastly, to keep beating a dead horse...My husband thought the red room was overly "chickish" but, this, THIS he liked????? Granted, it was our other house, but this is basically what the room looked like before last week....so his definition of chickish or girly is WHAT??? It is official. He is a nut-job and gets no vote anymore.

At Katie's Request

Katie says that she can't help me without some photographic eveidence of the "chic-ness." So, here it is. Critique away. Keeping in mind several things:


1. I'm not done yet. Window panels and lumbar/boudoir pillows on the way.

2. Im not sure how the paint color appears on your monitor. It is Powell Buff by Benjamin Moore. It is a golden/buttery/tan. I did not want yellow, and I did not want Khaki.

3. My 12 year old (you know, the one with all the fashion advice!) says maybe I should make the walls a darker shade. Although, I think they appear lighter in the photos than they are in person.

4. I told you my house was small!

5. I think the red will look less stark when the very light carpet is gone and the wood floors are in.

6. My husband (the sole wage earner) is a lowly pilot, not a CEO with a golden parachute.

7. Nate Berkus or Martha Stewart I am not. (though I SO wish I was!)

8. The white coverlet and Euro's are a diamond matelasse pattern.

For a Girl Who Hates Texas, Cowboys Sure Do Seem To Appear Ridiculously Often in Her Blog

This is what happens if a cute little boy in cowboy pj's starts messing around with stuff while you are re-organizing the garage.

This is what happens when you send your little boy to pre-school in Fort Worth during the stock show.

What's a Girl To Do?

First of all an update on the food diary - I am a loser who fell off the wagon. It all started with a trip to the movies, and ,really, who can resist movie popcorn, m&m's, and Twizzlers???? THEN I came home to find next year's tuition increase letter in the mail. OMG!! I drowned my sorrows in the rest of the m&m's. The next day was little Eliza's baptism and her mom had such yummy yummy food and mimosas(spiked with peach and mango nectars) and CAKE!....and, if these cute girls* invited you over for cake could you say no????

Next order of business - Remember when you all helped me to decide which new bedding to order? Well, I ended up getting the red paisley. I painted my room, put it all together and thought it looked great. I do all of these type of projects when Rich is on a trip because he gets all grumpy when I am in project mode. I think that mostly he is afraid I will ask him to help (as if!) Anyway, he got home late last night. He went back to go to bed and went to bed without saying a word. Well, I know what that means - he hates it! I asked him about it this morning and he, as nicely as he could, confirmed that in fact, yes, he hates it. It is "too red" and looks "like a total chic room." So, what would you do? Would you send it all back and start over? Or, would you think that he will just get used to it/get over it and that he is just a man/pilot anyway and what the heck does he know? I haven't put up the new panels on the windows yet or painted the bathroom, but have already ordered the monogramming on the new towels...

Lastly, I am freaking out about our impending remodel project. We have been thinking, planning, and dreaming about this since we moved in four years ago. I suffered (and I do mean suffered) through almost two years of regional airline pay while waiting for this to be a possibility. We have picked out floors, we have paid for landscape and lighting plans, etc, etc...but now this darn economy has me freaked out!!!! And then we get a letter from hub's company that made me cringe. Are we insane to go ahead with this? He assures me that everything is okay, but everytime I turn on the news I freak out a little more, and then he tells me that this is actually a great time to do this...good rates on a HELOC, and we a lender's dream at this point in time, blah, blah, blah....I am torn. I have waited for my house to be one I love. I have been so excited, but now the excitement is being tainted with trepidation...Please, please, tell me to just be excited! And, all of you people...spend your tax returns and tax rebates on a trip somewhere, will ya? A trip that requies you to FLY somewhere!!!! Perferably on a particular airline! Mama needs her some new floors and a pantry, and a sprinkler system!!

*blatant bragging on my mom - Can you believe my mom made these dresses? Cut, sewed, smocked and all without ever even being in the same state to measure them? This is why I should have had at least one girl! What a waste to have a grandma who is SO talented and have a bunch of boys!

AND - Spellcheck STILL is not working - AARGH!

A Decade of the Con-Man!

First day of 4th Grade ( age 9 - 2007/2008)

Decked out for the '50s diner party

first day of Kindergarten (2003-2004)

First season of T-ball (2004)

Uncle Joe's pool 2004

Pensacola Beach 2001 (Can you tell he is getting ready to tackle his big brother?)

Kamiseya Easter Egg Hunt 2000

First day of CDC Mom's Day Out (Age 2 - 2000)

First Doughnut (YUM!) December 1999

Chatting with Grandma (Age 1 1999)

2 days old (and a wee bit yellow!)

Connor turned 10 today! I cannot believe it! This is the same child who I once found putting eggs from the fridge when he could not find the golf balls that went with his Little Tykes golf set. (did I mention he was allergic to raw eggs, was doing this in his diaper, and was covered with hives???) He is the same child I searched frantically for (he had been known to escape our base housing unit no matter how well locked the door was) only to eventually find him contentedly hiding in the dryer eating chocolate. The same child who moved to Japan at 4 weeks old. The same child who told me during one deployment that when Daddy came home he was "going to troe im down da stays (stairs)." but then stuck to Daddy like glue when he finally did return. It was during this time frame (2ish) that his two favorite comebacks were:
1. "oh yeah? well, I not your bruter anymo! Huh!" (This was not only used on his brother, but on anyone who annoyed him.)
2. "No! You wong! and you wong for da res of your wife!"

He is the child who actually got his tongue stuck to a freezer in a motel room while I was outside of the locked door. (boy, that one is a post unto itself!) He hates all things he deems to be girly. He always says thank-you after dinner, but he almost never remembers to clear away his dishes. We were worried that he was developmentally delayed because he wasn't reading much at all when he started 1st grade - he now devours books at a rate that is almost not humanly possible. He is in the 4th grade reading at a 10th grade reading level. Ha - jokes on us! He loves to read even more than I do, but enjoys totally different genres than me. He likes fantasy and magic. He loves chocolate even more than I do. His other favorite foods are roasted asparagus, sushi, steamed artichokes, fried chicken and pizza. He hates any sort of carrot which is strange since his favorite color is orange. If he doesn't eat every 2 hours he loses his mind! He is mostly a very serious child, but his dry sense of humor is hysterically funny! He is starting to be an "older kid" but still loves to play chase and hide-n-seek in the house with Grant.


To celebrate his special day, I'll share with you his latest crazy comment.
Jamie sees a cat as we are driving through the neighborhood. He is convinced that this cat is Mini-Me's (our cat's) dad. He is going through a litany of arguments as to why he so sure of this. Then, Connor says, "Um, Mini-Me doesn't have a dad. She only had a mom." Jamie rolls his eyes and just looks at Con like with a Duh!-like expression. Connor looks confused for a second, and asks, "oooh...Do you mean they had to mate or something?" And, after a momentary pause continues, "Ugh! The antics of cat romance are rather disgusting to me!" That is a direct, verbatim quote. Do other 10-year olds speak this way? I know Jamie didn't. Then again, other 10-year olds do not run into columns in the store because they are trying to keep up with me while they refuse to stop reading and watch where they are going.

Spell check is not working! Does anyone know why???? I am WAY too tired to try to proofread myself tonight...sorry, guys!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNOR!